We need a festival. You know it. As I was socially distancing myself and working from home this week, I played YouTube videos in the background needing to free myself from the news and real world. I found a few great live musical performances I had been intending to watch and played one after another. At the end of the day I thought “Man, that would’ve been a helluva festival lineup.”
So began the vision of the virtual music festival. Callbullchip.com presents the inaugural (and hopefully only) QuarantineFest. All virtually presented via YouTube. Open the playlist, press play, sit back, or stand up, and enjoy a festival by yourself. Like any good festival, you can skip those you don’t like, or check out a few songs of one before heading over to another stage.
Try telling me this wouldn’t be a great couple of days. And I created it so I get to choose the headliners. No squabbling over which bands are bigger. I chose as headliners two of the absolute best live acts ever (and it’s not even debatable); Frank and the Oils. And it’s not perfect. Some bands didn’t have good YouTube videos (Rancid, Pennywise, and Drakulas). And I tried to stay away from the videos filmed by iPhone in the crowd (The Beasties one notable exception). And, I don’t know what happened with the audio of Weezer’s encore, but most of the sound is good (except from videos from VHS camera circa 1993). I tried to mix it up with some small bands that we’d see typically at the bottom of the poster. And a mix of genres, though you can see whose taste it follows. While I’ve seen most, it includes a few bucketlisters for me.
So here it is…a youTube playlist to enjoy a festival all by yourself while you are socially distant:
And, to make it a festival a few things you need to do:
- Take a zip tie and put it on your wrist, preferably too tight, and keep it on for three days adding another one each day.
- Watch it on a TV outside. The bigger the screen the better. But switch it up to a small screen, like a phone, occasionally to feel like you didn’t get a good spot and are way back.
- Go find some cheap beer, but pay $11 apiece for one.
- Or drink warm red wine from a plastic cup.
- Stand for the entire thing.
- Some of the videos are HD, others are not. Consider the low definition videos as viewing the show with a fuzzy haze after quite a few drinks.
And if you want to feel like you’re at a specific festival, here are some suggestions:
Coachella:
- Put sweet tea vodka in ziplocs and keep it in your pockets
- Ask your wife what’s for dinner and when she responds tell her you didn’t ask what the specials were
- Invite your teenager’s friends over for a pool party while you watch the videos
Lollapalooza:
- Walk around the block four times between sets
- Stop watching one video early and head to your fridge for some ice cream
- Drink red wine while watching Ghost
Riot Fest:
- Skip the first half of the videos since you wouldn’t get there early enough to see them.
- Skip the last videos since you would leave early to see the aftershows. Or…
- For the headliners, turn off all the lights in the room and walk around and bounce off the furniture
- Call an Uber, but you have to wait 45 minutes for it.
Desert Trip:
- Invite your wife’s friends over for a pool party while you watch the videos.
Surf City Blitz:
- Fill your shoes up with sand.
- Try telling your wife that her VIP service sucks (I’m not responsible for the resulting conversation), esquire.
- Wear your brown pants.
- Heavy pours for any drinks you make.
Last minute VIP passes are available…includes special VIP access to the remote control, clean bathrooms (as long as you keep your own bathroom clean), access to all the food and drink you have in your own home, transportation from your bedroom to your TV, and more….
